New invention idea: vibrating tampons
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I have post one night stand depression
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
