my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize