Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We talked him into tasing himself.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
