I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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