Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
