Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
