we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
