Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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