i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
