TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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