Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
