Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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