if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I intend to get homeless drunk
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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