im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize