The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
this just has baby written all over it
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
