I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
