Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This is my gift to your gina
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
