you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
