I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
