I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
