I bet he comes in French.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
