in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
no, he came in my armpit
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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