well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I don't deserve a penis
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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