Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize