I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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