Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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