I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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