I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
