What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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