I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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