...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
