dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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