I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
