remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
