I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
