I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
