i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize