Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
