i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
