It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
