Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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