Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
