no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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