Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
