that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
