It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
