I got chris browned last night
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
