Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
