you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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