"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
