i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
