youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I need to stop coming to work sober
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
