Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
