Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
