hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
