my vag is so smooth its legendary
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
