Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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