Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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