Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
