I'm jealous of your bromance
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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